


Nothing rhymes with fuck me harder (I think)

by iamnotalizard



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe, Carnival, Circus, M/M, Magic, Makeup, basically typing the same word in different ways now, circus AU, contortionist, magician
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-04-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 20:50:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1401991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamnotalizard/pseuds/iamnotalizard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With a contortionist who is constantly in a lip lock with the animal tamer, a magician who is working his magic on his assistant, a bunch of people who are paid to be vain, a house of horrors where hooks go through someones skin, all while they try to make it across the country - much less the world, like their names suggest -  it's no wonder why Wentz's World Travelling Circus is such a big attraction.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing rhymes with fuck me harder (I think)

The wooden stage stood a few feet off the ground, creaking softly as the man walked across it. The crowd applauded happily, falling silent as he raised a tattooed hand, bowing in thanks.

He pulled a table with a cloth over it from the side. The cloth was a dark grey, embroidered with blue birds, red flowers, and green vipers with dark eyes. On each corner of the cloth, a small _W. W. T. C_ was stitched in golden thread. The cloth was long enough that it covered the whole table, only stopping about two inches before it touched the stage. The man, the magician, kicked under the table, showing that nothing was under it, nothing was hiding.

A suitcase was sitting on the other side of the stage, about the size of a carry on, yet the man pulled a wooden box twice the size of it out. It went up to about his waist, and didn’t have a lid, the wood was a dark brown, worn and dented from many shows. The audience clapped, and cheered in amazement, the children giggled, and the adults were thinking about how he did it.

The magician heaved the box on to the table - after showing everyone that it was indeed empty, “Hello, everyone.” He finally said, smiling at the children sitting in the front. They squealed and laughed.

“Now, I’m sure you’re wondering who I am, and what I do,” the man grinned, “I am Frank. And I am magic.” The children clapped, the word ‘magic’ seemed to give them a new dose of energy.

Frank smiled, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt, revealing the colorful ink that climbed its way up his arms. In the light of the sun, and the candles, some people swore that they saw the ink moving, shifting into more comfortable places.

“Okay, now, I am going to wave my hands over this box, for absolutely no reason whatsoever,” he said, making hand motions, “Does anyone here remember the magic words, because they have seemed to slip my mind.”

The children, and some adults yelled out, “Abracadabra!”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure the words are ‘please do something, unless this does something I don’t get paid.” The older people in the audience laughed, the kids left to ponder over what he said, but they didn’t get long. The table started to rise, the cloth swaying with the soft breeze. Gasps and excited screams could be heard from the crowd.

Frank pouted, “I thought I fixed that,” he sighed, and brought his arms down, and the table fell too, wood of the stage screeching in protest and the weight hit it.

He held his hand above the box, and the audience held their breath, expecting it to rise, spin, do something, but they didn’t expect to see a pale, slim hand appear and grab Frank’s. Slowly, as if it was being born, two pale legs came out from over the sides, skin looked like paper. When it got to the knees, a hand grabbed the side of the box, the audience could see that the nails were painted black, much like all the other workers there. Frank smiled, and his mouth moved, whispered encouraging words. The muscles of the mysterious body tensed, as it pulled itself out of the box.

The body was a man’s, pale with dark hair, wearing black shorts that stopped at his thighs, and a vest like Frank’s, grey with three large buttons that kept it closed over his skinny chest. As he emerged from the box, his shoeless feet touched the floor of the stage, and he stood. He was taller than the magician, but was like a paper doll next to the bright colors of Frank’s skin. He straightened his back, standing tall, and he smiled, still holding Frank’s hand.

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please welcome my lovely assistant, Gee,” and the crowd erupted with applause, cheering and screaming with joy, as Gerard and Frank bowed down low.

“Now,” Frank shouted over the noise, “the show can begin!” and suddenly everything that looked grey seemed a little bit brighter.

-x-x-

The crowd dispersed, once a big cluster turning into small streams of people walking quickly, hoping to see a few more things before they had to leave.

            No one knew when they could come back.

            That was the thing about Wentz’s Wonderful Traveling Circus, it would appear one day on the cities outskirts, be around for a few days, then disappear, leaving no sign that it was ever there besides the memories that people carried like treasures.

            No one was ever sure how long they would stay, they kept the schedule a secret,  so they spent every moment they could at the place, milling around the tents, eating the cotton candy, watching performers. The circus never stayed in one place for long, once they packed up everything they were either gone that night, or away early the next morning. It added to the mystery, the magic of it all, that something so wondrous could just vanish into thin air, like it was never there.

            Kids laughed, tugging on their parents sleeves, pointing towards a tent or a trolley or even a lone balloon floating, they were just happy to be there.

            “You know, I never understood why I can’t wear shoes.” Gerard said, rubbing his sore feet. He always performed barefoot, the wood of the stage was hard on his skin, and gave him blisters and splinters.

            “Because it adds to the effect.” Frank waved his hand dismissively, putting a huge knife into the tiny pocket of his vest. As long as there was a single gaze of the public on him, he had to perform. “You know, like rebirth? Like, you just come out of a void? That kind of feel.”

            “Can’t we have a feel that let’s me walk normally after the show?”

            “Nope,” Frank said, “Hey, pass me that bird cage, will you? Gabe wanted it.” Gerard nodded, plucking the wire cage off the table.

            Slowly but surely they set to work cleaning up the stage, putting away the props and cards, and the deadly weapons that they used for their _DEATH DEFYING FINALE!_ until all that was left was the table, and a few cases of equipment.

            “Hey, you can go give the cage and stuff to Gabe now, I can finish clearing things.” Gerard said, as he waved to a little girl who was walking towards the circus entrance. The crowd was starting to thin out, the circus closed at five forty five on normal nights, when they were in towns like this one. It wasn’t small, but it wasn’t big. When they made their stops in cities, like Chicago or New Jersey, they stayed open longer, they switched all the family friendly food and drinks with liquor, fruit juice mixed with vodka, alcohol that tasted like the cotton candy they sold and even dyed your lips the same color. Pete would shoo all the children out around five, and start welcoming teenagers in around six. He didn’t even check to see if they were of legal drinking age.

            Frank nodded, picking up the cage. “Thanks,” he said, jumping off the stage. They would have to start taking it apart soon, but they had until tomorrow morning. Weaving in between the tents - colored anywhere from bright red, to a depressing black, to even a calming blue - he made his way towards Gabe’s section. He didn’t really have a tent, snakes liked to bask in the sun, and Tammy the Tiger got cranky when she was stuck inside a humid tent for hours, and Ricardo the Lion had a tendency to use the tent material as a scratching post. As a result, they usually just made a clearing for Gabe, and would leave the huge metal cases for his animals in the trailers.

            Frank got closer to where Gabe was lounging, kids sat all around him, as he held up a great boa constrictor. Gabe always conveniently forgot to tell the children that he had Betsy since he was seven and the only time she really constricted was when she was being fed, or when she was giving someone’s arm a gentle squeeze of affection.

            “In the wild,” Gabe said, ignoring the mixed looks of fear and wonder on the kids faces, “Boa’s can grow as large as a grown man, and can eat things as big as a crocodile-”

            “How?” A little boy interrupted, the girls and boy around him made a ‘shh’ sound.

            Gabe grinned, “I’m glad you asked. Boa Constrictors get their names from how they hunt. They go up to their prey,” Frank was almost certain Gabe taught Betsy how to do this, because it was always the same. She lifted her head, tongue flicking, peering at the children, “and they move very slowly,” she was wrapped around Gabe’s arm mostly, but she stretched towards the kids, who were caught between moving away from the snake, and towards Gabe’s story, “and then they wrap themselves around it, and kill them.”

            Betsy’s tongue flickered, and a girl asked, “But how?”

            “Boa’s strangle their prey.” Gabe said, as Betsy made a lurch forward, unwrapping herself from Gabe’s arm, and falling to the ground. The kids screamed, and fell backwards, as he laughed.

            “That’s what they do in the wild,” He laughed, as Betsy slithered towards Frank, wrapping herself around his leg gently. She was the kindest of all the snakes, the one that Gabe used when he was teaching about snakes instead of pretending to tame them. Frank suspected that Gabe could be an expert by now, one with a degree and everything if he didn’t drop out of school to be a circus freak.

            “Betsy just eats small things, rats, squirrels, possums, normally she eats whatever meat we give her, but sometimes she hunts. She’s completely harmless.” Gabe said, mostly to the parents watching, slightly concerned that there was a snake by their kids.

            “As long as you don’t count all the times she tries to cuddle with you, and nearly scares you to death.” Frank snorted, walking over to Gabe, trying not to drag the snakes belly on the ground. They had set up shop in a field, like usual, but it was half soft, green grass, and half rocky gravel. He sent a smile to the parents, “Circus is closing soon, you should get one last look at anything you want to see.”

            The group of kids slowly pushed themselves off the ground, eyes going from Gabe to the snake to the magician. Frank smiled, hands did a complex motion, and produced a few daisies. He handed them to the smallest girl, who had brown hair, green eyes, who looked quite lonely.

            “See you soon,” Gabe waved to them, petting Betsy’s head.

            “One day someone is going to kill you for doing that,” Frank said, passing him the cage. It was thin, made of copper wire, small intricate designs of birds and swirls danced along the sides. Magic was all about show, performing, Frank wasn’t sure what Gabe needed the cage for; he was an animal tamer, everything had to be strong, made for function not fashion.

            “Thanks,” Gabe said, picking it up, “I found some birds farther out of the field, and right now they’re in a shoebox.” Frank made a ‘hmm’ noises, understanding the use of the cage. Tigers and lions couldn’t skip a meal, they had hunting drilled into their D.N.A., if they got hungry they would attack, snakes on the other hand could slow their metabolism down, Gabe had trained them to be calm, but people didn’t want to watching snakes sleep, they wanted to see animals act wild.

            Gabe loved his snakes, but more often than not, he had to choose the other animals over them. If feeding other animals to them meant that he could bring them out and show them off, then he would do so.

            “Hey, are we leaving today, or tomorrow?” Gabe asked, pushing himself off the ground, until he towered over Frank. He was shirtless, of course, he spent all day out in the sun.

            “Tomorrow, but Pete said he wanted us to try and clean up tonight, get an early start.” They always had an early start, it was what they did. They were more like a fairy tale than a circus.

            Gabe sighed, rolling his eyes, “Of course. Anyways, thanks for the cage, I’ll like, clean it and stuff before I give it back.” Betsy unravel herself from Frank’s limbs, and made her way up Gabe’s legs until she was wrapped comfortable around his chest. “Later, Frank.” He said, walking off towards the animal trailer, which was hidden away in the back of the circus, in between tents that were closed off, away from anywhere the public wanted to be.

            Frank turned around and started going back to his tent. Through the smoke, and balloons and ribbons that accompany everywhere they traveled, sometimes Frank mistook the circus for a fairytale too.

-x-x-

            Nobody was really sure why Pete started a circus. Sure he was strange, and the circus fit him perfectly, but out of all the jobs in the world, nobody knew why he choose the circus.

            “Because he’s a fucking idiot!” Patrick would say, rolling his eyes if someone asked. He would normally walk away after, and be in a sour mood for a few hours after someone asked, so they refrained as much as they could. But still, everyone always wondered. Pete would just smile, and say, “Sometimes things happen, and when they happen you have to put things on the line,” before telling whoever asked to get back to work.

            All the workers were glad that the circus existed, because normally it was the only thing keeping them off the streets. Everyone had some odd story of how Pete found them. He had a superpower, a superpower of finding weirdos that happen to know how to do cool things.

For Gabe, he found him trying to catch a garden snake in a ditch, Frank he found scamming people out of their pocket money, William was found working at a strip club, Hayley was stealing from a convenience store, and Brendon he found in a fucking church parking lot.

When asked, Pete always said, “Sometimes things just work out. Other times you have to make them work,” before he told whoever was asking to get back to work.

The circus was their little haven. They didn’t have to worry about bills, or taxes, or growing up. While performing to kids, they could be kids themselves, they could laugh, and wear face paint, and do stupid things because _hey, we’re performing for you! this is for you, to make you happy!_ and they loved it. Most of the year, they were traveling, forced to move from place to place, so legally, most of them were homeless. They didn’t feel homeless, though, because no matter where they were, what they were doing, or what they had to do, they felt like they were at home.

Pete had given them a place where they belonged, a place where they could be freaks, and be loved. They could be confident and be the better parts of themselves, they could be the confident, happy, adventurous versions of themselves, the parts that were smiles and laughs and liked to do everything with a flourish, instead of the sadder, angrier parts of themselves that the used to have to hide. Pete had given them support, and a smile, and encouragement to do whatever they wanted, he gave them good advice, and warm meals, and helped them all when the were sick.

Pete had given them a loving, home, no matter where they were, and that was more than any of them could ever ask for

 

-x-x-

            The sign above the tent read, _Welcome to Pretty Odd_ which was the best way to describe it. The point of the tent was a bit of a mystery, but one of the largest attractions. The sign was painted a light blue, cut so that it wasn’t exactly a circle or rectangle, decorated with paintings of flowers, wings, and other novelties that Pete found endearing. The words were painted delicately, in thin golden paint, the same color as the dandelions that seemed the follow that very tent everywhere it went. Ribbons of pink, blues, purples, and yellows hung from the sign, flicking wildly when the wind picked up. The fabric of the tent was a bright red, a clash to the gentle colors the welcoming sign presented, but it worked, drew the eye towards it.

            Inside the tent, inside Pretty Odd, was where the human China Dolls were. Inside were some of the prettiest, most enticing people that one could see. All day they would sit, or stand, or stay in one place, on a small risen stages, separated by thin sheets of bright red fabric, and just be pretty. They could wave, smile, even speak to some of the people gazing upon them, but ultimately, they were supposed to just look at the guests with an air of indifference and vague superiority, the type that one got from models and actors.

It housed some of the strangest, albeit the most amazing, characters that people would ever see. As you walked through, wooden panels and mirrors made a short of hallway, leading you through the displaces, ribbons and robe keeping you a proper distant from the workers.

            From where they were perched, some people felt like they were gazing at gods, models, works of art. The first that the guests would pass as they walked through the multi-colored hall was Victoria. Normally she would longue on an old air chair that they found months back, made of a dark black fabric, that made her bright clothes stand out. As people looked at her, she looked back with a cold, mean glaze, almost glaring at them. Sometimes she didn’t even look at the crowd, just examined her nails, look at her shoes, play with her hair. Looking at her, you felt like you were just pushed into a freezing cold lake, that was how well she made you feel like you were beneath her.

            Next was Hayley, compared to Victoria she was a constant flame. Her bright hair was straightened every morning, but was normally wavey by the end of the day, due to her braiding and twisting it. She smiled and the people walking by, waved at the kids, and blew kisses to the people who couldn’t tear their gaze away. There was a wooden stool for her to sit on, but normally she was unable to stay still, and ended up standing around on the stage. While Victoria looked like a mannequin, cold and unreal, Hayley was like a painting, a smile present, and always in different scenes. Both were beautiful in extremely different ways.

            There were others, but they came and left and paled in the light of the supernovas that surrounded them. But the main attraction of Pretty Odd was Ryan.

            While Victoria was sharp and cold, and Hayley was warm and soft, Ryan was like neither. He was like a porcelain doll, delicate and smooth, but distant in a way that you couldn’t touch him. With hair like dark chestnuts, and skin that looked like cream in the light of the tent, and limbs that were long and graceful, it was no wonder why he ended up in that tent.

            He would sit on the stage, on top of a wooden chair that Pete had acquired just for him, and just look beautiful. He would do his makeup, draw on birds, and tree branches, and paint on reds and blues and purples, and just _look_ at the audience, in a way that made chills go down their spines, and left everyone feeling amazed and vaguely self conscious. On most days, his long fingers held a fan, somedays lace, somedays paper with intricate pictures drawn on. When he was in a good mood, sometimes he would give the fan to a child who looked at him like he was the greatest thing they've ever seen, and there would be smudges of makeup on it.

            Ryan wanted to be a somebody, way back when he was in highschool and he had to wear makeup to cover bruises. He wanted to be a somebody, he wanted all eyes on him but in a good way, he wanted people to worship the ground he walked on. He wanted to make strangers fall in love with him, and most of all, he wanted to get away from the god awful town he called his home. When Ryan met Pete, he saw a chance to be a somebody, he dropped out of high school, and when he told his dad he got a broken nose, but he still saw his chance to be a somebody. He was a somebody now, and even though he didn’t smile all too often (it ruined the facade) he was the happiest he’d ever been.

            Pretty Odd was strange tent to work in, yet it was favored among adults and teens, probably because everyone inside it was good looking. Pete had started Pretty Odd when he found Ryan, later picking up Hayley and Victoria and any other person who managed to wriggle their way into the circus. Most people didn’t last long; either another opportunity came, one better than the circus, or the pressure of having to keep up to the standards of Pretty Odd were just too much. When they left, they were either convinced they were on their way to stardom, or they left as a walking skeleton, beauty long drained out of them. Pete was never mad at anyone when they left, even though more often than not the other workers of the circus held grudges.

            At Wentz’s Wonderful Traveling Circus you were in for better or worse, captain goes down with the ship, or you never were in to begin with. Pete never said that, but it was the principle the employees had made up. They were like family, even if they had different jobs and backgrounds, they were family. That was why Frank gave his cages to Gabe even if they came back bent, and why Brendon would stop by William’s tent to give him water on days that had big crowds, and why Ryan helped Gerard with his makeup.

            They were family through and through, because when you were in the circus, family was the most important thing in the world

 

-x-x-

            William did another backbend, quickly turning it into a handstand, and repeat. He really needed to work on a new routine, because this one was getting pretty old. He had been doing it for a few weeks, but every time he finally got a chance to sit down and plan it out, Gabe distracted him.

            Not that he really minded. Besides, judging by the way the audience looked at him in amazement, he was doing fine as it was. His finale’s were normally outstanding as well, if any part of his show was subpar, he would knock their socks off by the end.

            He did the splits, thighs burning in protest, this was the last show of the day, but they were traveling for most of tomorrow. He could rest while they travelled. The audience clapped loudly, as he carefully pulled himself up, standing at his full height. He cracked his joints, but before anyone could think that the show was over, William bent backwards, going back into a backbend. Quickly following that, he went into a handstand, then back to his feet. He build up enough momentum to go into a backflip, then carefully went into a handstand. He was closer to the edge of the platform that he would like to be, and he mentally noted that he would have to make his next routine smaller. Still inverted, William brought his legs apart, keeping his legs straight so that they were in a splits above his head. He could feel his face going red. The crowd applaud, and he brought his legs back together. Once they were together again, he let them fall to the floor, then stood once again.

            Facing the audience, he dropped to a low bow, smiling and red cheeked. The audience applauded, loudly and enthusiastically, as he bowed again. Giving a wave, he walked off the platform, and went to the closed off section tent just behind it. The first area of the tent had the platform, and an area for the crowd, but behind it there was a wall made of fabric where William could do pre and post show stretches, and keep everything he needed for shows. Letting out a sigh, he dropped down, rather ungracefully, on an upturned crate. He would have to start packing up soon, it was already getting dark and they needed to find a motel where they could sleep, but he was just so tired, he figured he could spare a few minutes.

            William rotated his ankles, and cracked his knuckles, wincing slightly as he stretched sore muscles. A few moments passed of him regaining his breath, before he stood up, then promptly dropped back to the floor, onto a yoga mat that was really worse for wear, and started doing his stretches. The noise of people walking by came through the thin fabric of the tent, Bill could hear people chatter excitedly, wandering about. Sometimes he wondered if they talked like this all the time, or just when they were in town. He hoped so, everyone who came to the circus seemed so happy.

            After he finished, he started changing out of his performance clothes - tight clothing, meant to show off his muscles as he moved, they were a pair of shorts that stopped around his thighs, and a tank top. They were both a dark blue, almost black, like the tent - and started pulling on his normal, day clothes. He was sweaty and probably gross smelling, but if they got a motel, he could probably have a chance to shower. And, besides, it had been about a week since anyone else who worked there showered, they all smelled horrible, the scent of candy, flowers and perfume just covered it. William pulled on his jeans, a tee-shirt (which he’s pretty sure he’s had since high school), and tugged on a pair of socks. Deciding to put his shoes on later, his feet were a bit sore, he stood up, and pushed the curtain aside. Brendon had the schedule of all the shows, and it was part of his job to put the closed sign on all the tents when nothing was happening, so the tent was empty, and closed. Hearing the noise from outside, but not being able to see it, or feel the breeze made him feel oddly disconnected.

Sighing, he wiped some sweat off his face, and went to work packing everything up. There wasn’t a lot of nick-nacks that he needed to put away, not like Frank and Gerard, but he needed to pack away hula-hoops,great big poles, and mats. It was laborious work, having to fold heavy, thick mats, and twist and bend poles until the clamps on them snapped in, and allowed them to slide into themselves, it made his tired muscles scream, and stole the breath from his lungs much sooner than it should.

            After what felt like decades, but was more likely only about half an hour, everything was packed up, in its designated box, the only things left to put away the platform, and the tent itself, but everyone put in a helping hand with those. William tucked a stray piece of hair behind his ear, and gave a small smile. He’d been doing this for years, and yet he was always amazed how quickly he could do it by himself. Fetching his shoes, and slipping them on, he pushed aside the closed fabric of the tent and walked outside.

            Taking in a deep breath of fresh air, William sighed. It had taken a while for him to get used to the constant scent of candy and sugar and potent perfume, but once the initial shock of all the smells was over, he had grown to love it. And slowly, he started smelling like the circus too.

There wasn’t much of a crowd anymore, just people making their way towards the entrance to leave. Most people looked reluctant to leave. Sometimes William felt bad for them, he got to live in this fantasy land everyday of his life, and they only had a few hours.

            Brendon came into Bill’s view, water bottle in hand, and a bag of whatever was left over from the booths. Once he was close enough, he passed them over to William with a smile and said, “Sorry, busy day, the only thing left was Candy Apples.”

            “Brendon Urie, I love you,” William said cheerfully, grabbing the water bottle and chugging it. It was cold and fresh, and made chills go down his spine, but he finished half of it without the bottle leaving his lips. Twisting the cap on, he snatched the bag over, and, as promised, there was a candy apple, caramel smudged on the inside of the bag, and the candies that decorated it was mostly gone and fallen off. Doing his best not to get his fingers messy, William plucked it out of the bag, and bit into it with relish. He normally had breaks in between shows, but those were only long enough to scarf down some water and an energy bar, maybe some sugar crystals if it was a slow day. Today it was busier, the whole town seemed to show up.

            Brendon laughed, and said, “Okay.” before launching into a tale of weird things that happened that day. This was their routine, after William packed things away, and Brendon locked up all the booths and carts, he would bring something for Bill, and in exchange he would listen to Brendon’s stories and laugh. Really, Brendon could do this with anyone, so William felt a little bit honored that Brendon choose him.

            When the candy apple was reduced to nothing but a popsicle stick with a few bite marks, and all the guests had been gone for a few minutes, Brendon said, “Hm, maybe we should go check in, see if anyone needs help.”

            William nodded, “That’s a good idea.” He sucked some of the sticky sugar off his fingers as they walked to Pete’s tent. It was smaller than the other tents, (not that that meant anything, the other tents were huge, towering high into the sky), no one performed in it, and the only people allowed in were employees, there was no need to make it flashy or showy. It was a dark, solid blue color, nothing embroidered into the fabric, no sign, you couldn’t even see an entrance unless you knew where to look. From the outside it looked empty and useless, but inside it was a buzz of activity. It’s where Pete and Patrick scheduled events, and where they kept extra props and first aid. They had hand mirrors and makeup kits, and body glitter, and needles and thread, and water and bag full of food. The tent was small, and got stuffy, and had a few rips in it, but it was the real center of the circus.

            Feeling around it, Brendon pushed the flaps aside, and walked in. William remembers when Brendon first joined, and was so amazed at how it looked like you just disappeared into the material, and now he was passing through like it was no big deal. William didn’t know what it made him feel, but it was something that tugged at his heartstrings. Pride, nostalgia, sadness, he didn’t know, and he didn’t dwell on it too much, as he walked into the tent too. A few other people were inside too. Gerard was there, putting bandages on his feet, and Ryan, Hayley, and Victoria were wiping makeup off their faces. Ryland was helping Nate change some wrappings on his ankle, and Butcher was poking at an open wound, occasionally dabbing rubbing alcohol on it, before passing some clean cotton balls to Travis, who was tending one of his burns. Gabe was sitting on a folding chair next to Pete, who was talking hurriedly to Patrick.

            Brendon immediately went to Ryan’s side, and began talking his ear off. Ryan just smiled. It was a nice sight, Ryan’s smile, a sight that everyone had been seeing more of since Brendon got him to open up. William went over to Gabe, and smiled. They fell into easy conversation, about how their days went, what the crowds were like, if anything of extreme importance happened, until Pete looked away from Patrick, and announced, “Okay, we should start getting the tents down. It’s getting dark, and we still need to find a motel.”

            A murmur of agreement passed through the tent, and everyone scuttled off to their assigned section of the circus. It was easier, pairing people into section, instead of telling everyone to clean up their own mess. Some tents were just too big, or equipment too heavy for the people of that attraction alone, and others were so small and light that it would only take a few minutes. As the sun went down, a soft darkness falling over the field until only the lights that they put up illuminated their work, they dismantled the circus. Slowly, tents fell to the ground and were folding up into neat little squares and put away, the platforms and stages pulled apart, clasps came undone and they pushed them into previously hidden trucks and trailers. Booths and trolleys were rolled away, lights were unstrung. Soon all that was left of the circus was some litter that dotted the ground, and the smell of candy, sugar and perfume. Everyone tried not to think about it too much as they piled into the cars and went to finding a place to sleep.

 

-x-x-

            Car rides were always uncomfortable at best, even when they were short. While most of them knew how to drive, there were only three cars that they could travel in. The other vehicles were filled to the brim with props or animals or equally unpleasant things. This meant that everyone had to squish next to each other, in order for everyone to fit. Personal space became a foreign concept after a few months on the road. Most of the time there would be at least double the people in the car than was recommended, or even safe, people sat in others laps, were squashed between two people, using their arms as seatbelts. On a few occasions some people had to sit in the trunk, on top of all the luggage and coolers as they drove, holding into the back of seats for support when they went around a corner or over bumps.

            Thankfully, they were only driving for a short while to find a place to sleep, so any uncomfortable position didn’t have to be held for long. Seating arrangements didn’t change often, not that there was a lot of room for adjustment. Gerard sat on Frank’s lap, wedged between Brendon, Ryan sat on his lap, and Victoria, no one sat on her lap, because she kept a bag full of water bottles and snacks and it didn’t seem fair to make her hold more. William normally sat on Gabe’s lap, their long legs took up a lot of space, but sometimes, like when they were trying to find a motel, he just sat on the floor of the vehicle, folded himself as small as possible and waited. Pete and Patrick and Andy drove the cars most of the time, and Ryland, Joe, and Jon sat in the passenger seats since they knew how to read maps. People were squished in between others and it was never a pleasant experience but it was how they travelled, and after a while they all got used to it.

            Watching them all get in and out of the cars was practically a circus act all on its own.

            Any position they were in didn’t last for long, only about fifteen minutes, since they found a motel quickly. As they all slinked out of the vehicles - the trailers that held on their things kept on going, as to get everything to the location early - they stretched and yawned, pairing up for who would sleep with whom as Patrick went in to get them rooms. After a tiring day, the proposition of a warm, comfy bed, that didn’t shake or move was so inviting that they pushed aside any awkwardness of sleeping with another person.  Bunking arrangements hardly differed from seating arrangements. Once in pairs, and everyone had their whatever they brought with them in the car (the rule was one bag per person, nothing too big, just big enough for a change of clothes, toiletries, maybe a wallet) and Patrick came out, passing them all keys and telling them their room numbers. They all said goodnight to each other in the lobby, Pete saying, “Change of plans, we leave tomorrow at ten am, instead of five. Everyone shower, and eat.” before going to the stairs.

            Everyone on the same floor mutter another quick goodnight, before going into their shared rooms, and closing the doors, signalling an end to another day.

 

-x-x-

Ryan watched himself carefully in the mirror as he dabbed makeup remover on his eyelid. The makeup wipes that they used to get the bulk of it off worked just fine, but it left a thin layer of makeup on his skin. Sometimes he wonders if he didn’t use good makeup remover before he go to sleep if eventually he wouldn’t need to put any new makeup on ever again, if the previous layers would build up until it always looked fresh. Ryan’s pretty sure that’s not how it works, but it’s fun to imagine. Brendon was next to him, brushing his teeth, sometimes saying, “There’s some in your hair,” or “You missed a spot” as he spat out toothpaste.

Brendon put his toothbrush down, spitting in the sink a final time, and said, “I’m going to sleep now, ‘night.” before kissing Ryan on the cheek. A few minutes later, once all the makeup had come off, and he had washed his face, and put on the face creams that Hayley insisted he use to ‘keep his skin healthy under all that colorful stuff!’, and he brushed his teeth and hair, he walked out of the bathroom. Slipping out of his jeans and shirt, he pulled out a pair of pajama pants from his bag and tugged them up to his hips. Brendon was still awake, watching him, and he pulled the covers aside when Ryan came towards the bed. He crawls between the covers, cuddling into Brendon. They weren’t really sure what they were, but they were pretty sure they were dating even if that hadn’t talked about it. At some point or another, everyone dated or had sex with someone else at the circus, it was just how things were. After a few months of being inside someone personal bubble, you kind of develop a crush on them, even if it’s just a _I know everything about you and I don’t hate you yet_ crush. They were okay with what they were.

Ryan leaned over, and kissed Brendon’s lips, and murmured and soft, “Goodnight.”

“Sleep tight.”

“Don’t let the bedbugs bite.” Ryan finished, giggling softly, closing his eyes. Brendon reached over his bony body, and switched off the lights. They didn’t know a lot of things, but for now they were okay with that.

-x-x-

            “Those pornstars made that look so easy,” Gabe groaned, and he walked out of the washroom, cold washcloths in his hand. William hummed in agreement, laughing softly as Gabe winced. Gabe flopped down on the bed, and said, “Ow.” He pressed a damp cloth on the inside of his thigh.

            “How the fuck can you even bend like that?” He asked, stretching out his hamstring. William giggled, running his hand through his sweaty hair. He needed to shower, now especially that he had cum drying on his stomach.

            “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he teased, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Gabe’s chest.

            “Yeah, I would,” Gabe groaned, letting another cloth rest on his stomach. “Fuck, whose idea was it to try ‘Circus Porn’?”  
            “Yours.”

            “Ugh, fine, whose idea was it to watch ‘Circus-”

            “Yours again,” William said, sitting up and cracking his back. He started shifting to get out of the mess of sheets.

            “Where are you going?” Gabe asked, eyes flickering shut and he stretched his leg again.

            “Um, shower? I’m kind of nasty right now.”

            “No, you can’t,” Gabe said, “I’m injured, see? I may die if you leave. Besides, we get to leave later tomorrow, we can shower then.”

            “We?” William asked, smiling.

            “Fuck yeah we.”

            William rolled his eyes, and laid back down. He was closed his eyes, and Gabe flicked off the lights.

-x-x-

            While they didn’t have to be on the road until ten, a majority of the performers woke up around seven, but considering that on normal days they had to wake up around three a.m. to be in the car and moving by five, a four hour sleep in was heaven.

            “We should go shower,” William said pulling away from Gabe. He whined, and pulled William back, saying, “Later.”

            “You’ve been saying that for half an hour,” William said, trying to escape again with no avail.

            “Yeah, and we’ll go shower later.” He grabbed Bill’s waist, tugging him back to the sheets, and kissed his shoulder.

            “Dude, I have cum in my hair, let me shower,” he unwrapped Gabe’s arms from him, and slipped out of his reach before he could be pulled back in. Walking to the bathroom, he looked back and said, “You’re welcome to join me, but you have to get up.”

            Gabe groaned from his spot in the bed, making William laugh. He twisted the knob on the shower, quickly stripping his dirty clothes. He had put his toiletries in the bathroom the night before, soap and shampoo already in the shower, so he just stepped in, drawing the shower curtain close and fiddling with the taps to get the water to the ideal temperature. William sighed contently, as the water ran down his back, soaking through his hair. He could already feel the buildup of sweat and dirt start to come off. For a few minutes he stood still, not moving to grab the soap, just let the water hit his skin. Gabe pulled the shower curtain back quickly, William probably would have jumped but he knew Gabe would come.

            “You play fucking dirty, Bilvy Beckett.” Gabe stated, stepping into the spray. His clothes were already in a pile on the floor. William draped his arms over Gabe’s shoulders, leaning up and smiling.

            “Not my fault you’re so predictable.” Gabe rolled his eyes, and kissed him. They washed themselves, probably not spending enough time on it considering that it had been almost two weeks since their last real shower. They had dry shampoo, and sometimes they had baby wipes, but the Pretties were the primary receivers of them. They rinsed shampoo out of their hair, William blinked suds out of his eyes.

“You know the best showers are when you get out dirtier than when you go in,” Gabe said, giving William a pointed looked. He rolled his eyes, and whispered, “Pushy,” but dropped to his knees. He took Gabe in his mouth, eyes flickering upward. Gabe was smirking down at him, running his hands through William’s hair, gently.

            “Oh, I’m sorry, do you want me to look away?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. William probably would reply with some smartass comment, but he decided it was better to just roll his eyes again, and hollow his cheeks. Bringing his hands up, he placed them on Gabe’s hips for support, and tugged himself closer. Still sucking, he moved his mouth back and mouth over Gabe’s dick, using his hand to cover whatever his mouth didn’t.

            Long story short, they were in the shower until the water ran cold, and they came out just as dirty as when they went in.

-x-x-

            Gerard yanked a brush through his hair, scalp screaming with pain when it got caught on a knot. It probably wouldn’t be this bad if he brushed it everyday, but he never remembered. His hair was clean now though, so he figured he might as well brush it. Sighing, he untangled the comb, and pulled it through again.

            He still needed to do things, but half his hair was still messy, and he probably looked ridiculous like that. Gerard jerked the comb through his hair again, wincing as it got stuck, as the bathroom door opened, revealing a - now clean - Frank. He watched as Gerard pulled angrily at his hair for a moment, before saying, “You know, if you want to get rid of all your hair, scissors are much easier.”

            “Fuck off.” Gerard said. He is the master of comebacks. Frank rolled his eyes, and walked over to the bed. The top blanket was a horrid light pink, and itchy as if it were made of poison ivy. Frank crawled over the bed, and sat behind Gerard, his knees barely touching his lower back. Gerard tensed for a moment, but relaxed quickly.

            “Here, pass,” Frank said, holding his hand out. Gerard gave him the hairbrush, and inched closer to the edge of the bed. He was clearly trying to make it subtle. Frank noticed, but didn’t say anything. Putting his hand on Gerard shoulder, he brought the brush to his hair, and slowly pulled it down, careful not to hurt him. For a few minutes they sat in silence, the sound of hair ripping and commotion from other rooms filled the air.

            When you spend just about every minute of everyday with someone, you get to a point when you stop having to talk. They said everything they had to say to one another before, and nothing new had happened yet, they didn’t need to clog the air with so much noise that they could barely think. It was a kind of silence that they had both learned to appreciate. Sometimes Frank wondered why he used to hate quiet.

            “Done,” Frank said, voice loud compared to the silence, and made Gerard jump. His hand flew to the back of his head, touching his, now smooth, hair.

            “Thanks.” He said, pushing himself off the bed. They were both dressed, it was only quarter past eight, but they were both hungry. It didn’t take long to round up all their things and put them into their overnight bags. Just toiletries and clothes. Both of them had lived out of a suitcase long enough to know how to pack light. Gerard sometimes missed having pointless objects laying around, having knick-knacks.

            In a few minutes, they were out of the room, bags over their shoulders, and walking down to the reception desk to give the key back. A surprising number of people were in the small lobby, most of them performers, but Frank could see a few suits here and there, and the receptionist had an annoyed look on her face.

            “Do you have a phone?” Gerard asked, ignoring her condescending look when Pete waved him over. She nodded, and pointed to a wall, a public pay phone in the corner.

            “I’m going to see Pete, that okay?” Frank asked, Gerard nodded and waved him off, walking over to the phone. Turning around Frank went to Pete.        

            “Sleep well?” he asked, then went on before Frank could answer, “We found a diner, so we’re going to stop there around nine, you’re welcome to do whatever until then.” Pete took a breath, and looked around, “Where’s Gerard?”

            Frank jerked his head over to the phone, where he was leaning on the wall, talking into the receiver grinning.

            “Go tell him the plan, before the desk lady bites our heads off.” Frank nodded, not bothering to argue with him, before walking towards Gerard. His head was ducked down as he spoke into the phone, but a small smile could be seen. The closer he got the more of the conversation he could hear, but he didn’t interrupt.

            When Gerard saw Frank coming towards him he sent a small smile his way, and held up a finger, mouthing ‘one minute’. “Yeah, okay, mom, okay, yes, I am. Yeah, ‘kay, love you too. Is Mikey there?” Gerard dropped his bag to the ground, and inserted another coin into the machine. “Can I talk to him? Yeah, I can wait a second.” He put the phone to his neck so that he could talk to Frank.

            “Everyone’s heading to a diner in a bit, Pete said we should leave soon. I saw a Ladro-mat when we were driving here, too.” Gerard nodded, “Who’s Mikey?”

            “Oh, my little brother,” Gerard said.

            “You never told me you had a brother.” Frank said.

            “Never came up,” he said as an explanation, before putting the phone to his ear and saying, “Hey! How’re you?”

            Frank rolled his eyes, but leaning against the wall, listening to half the conversation. Gerard looked happy as he talked into the phone, he laughed and scoffed.

            “No, I’m not coming home soon,” his tone indicated that this was an old conversation, “Because I’m putting you through school, nerd.” Whatever Mikey said was muffled, but Gerard rolled his eyes, “If you join a circus I’ll beat your scrawny little ass until you can’t do anything, _except_ study.”

            The bickering went back and forth, and Frank laughed at the things Gerard said.

            “Look, I have to go now, okay? I’ll send you letters and stuff. Is the stuff I sent last week there? Yeah, did you like it? Awesome. Okay, I have to go. Good luck on your test. Love you too, ‘kay, bye.” He hung the receiver up with a sigh. “I love that boy to pieces but Jesus Christ, I could strangle him.” Frank laughed, and picked his bag up for him.

            “You’re putting him through school?” Gerard blushed, and looked down.

            “Um, my mom dropped out of school, and uh, can’t really afford to send either of us to college.” He said, not really looking at Frank. He nodded though, he knew part of the reason why Gerard joined the circus; everyone knew parts of things, never the whole story. Almost no one joined the circus because they just wanted too, they usually had a deeper reason.

            “You want to look around for a bit? We still have some time until breakfast.” Frank said, easily changing the subject. Gerard nodded, and smiled, awkwardness leaving him quickly. Frank took his hand, and let him through the front door, falling into conversation effortlessly. Sometimes Frank wondered if him and Gerard would have met without the circus, if they might have met on normal terms. Maybe they would meet at a concert, or a movie, or at a bookstore. Maybe it would have been love at first sight, or maybe they would be awkward and force themselves on the first few dates and fall in love much later. Maybe they never would’ve met.

            Sometimes Frank wondered how different his life would be without the circus, but he mostly tried ignored the feeling that he was missing the real world, living his fantasy.

-x-x-

            When they don’t have all eyes on them, when Ryan doesn’t have makeup on, when William is just standing straight, when Butcher doesn’t have hooks through his skin, when Gabe doesn’t have snakes draped around him, when they are just normally people, barely anyone pays attention to them.

            At first, it was shocking, the contrast of being the center of attention to being ignored. The way that people watched them all while they were doing their acts, the attention was always warm, it made them feel special, whole, like they could do anything and people would still cheer. But that was when they were attractions in Wentz’s Wonderful Travelling Circus.

            When they’re just walking down the street, nothing happens. No one looks at them amazed, and mystified in fact, most people ignore them. It’s actually a little bit refreshing.           William is allowed to move without having to bend his body in impossible ways, Gerard can talk without having to project his voice, Ryland gets to walks without stilts. Some people insult them on the streets; called Ryan a fag for wearing makeup, or say that Frank is a druggie, and it shouldn’t be as exhilarating as it is. After being loved for so long, sometimes they just wanted someone to hate them. It kept them grounded, stopped them from getting so lost in fairytale of the show that they never came back out.

            It made them all a little bit nostalgic, made them remember - normally with a fondness - when they went to sleep in an actual bed every night, woke up and did normal, mundane things all day, before falling asleep in the same place. They never talked about it, not even Brendon who had a huge family that always begged him to come home when he spoke to them on the phone, told him he could still be saved. It was an unspoken rule; once you were part of the circus, you were part of a new family, no matter how much you love or miss your old one, you don’t speak of them unless asked.

            But even with all this, with his weight on their chests, and the pressure on their hearts, they all managed to push it aside as they ate breakfast, all crammed into booths at a diner. They laughed and drank each others coffees, accidently put elbows in other foods, and by the time they all had ate, got gas, and were shoved into the cars, they had all forgotten whatever sadness they felt. It probably wasn’t healthy, or normal, but then again no one who joined a circus really was.

-x-x-

The tents were set up again, the sun high in the sky. Even though they were still setting up, everyone was in costume, already acting for the small crowd waiting to be let in. Ryland and Nate towered over everyone rushing around on the ground, striding through the grass, and waving at bystanders from their perches on stilts. Spencer, Jon and all the other game operators moved quickly, preparing everything they needed; prizes, seats, change. Ryan was searching for a fan - “No, not _that_ fan, Pete, the other one!” “Ryan, you have, like, twenty fans, which one is the other one?” “Not that one!” - while the rest of the Pretties were making themselves into plastic dolls. They were rushing, but they had to put on a show. Everything was done with an extra flourish, they didn’t walk to their tents, they strutted. Frank even put his whole knife collection into his vest pocket while everyone waiting was in view. Everyone was busy, everyone was working hard.

While the ten am start was a treat, no one took into account that the highway would be busier during the day than it would in the early hours of the morning. Everything, sickness, breakdowns, tantrums, had been thought of, but not fucking traffic accidents.

“This isn’t good,” Patrick said about a dozens times in the car, as they inched forward. A upturned car came into view, along with a pickup truck on its side, blocking two lanes, forcing all the cars to squeeze into one. “This really isn’t good.”

Everyone was ready to go, until Gabe barged into Pete’s tent, it was warm from body heat, the air slightly sour from sweat, but slowly the aruma of candy floss and incense was filling it. Gabe was panting looking panicked, “I can’t find Daina.” and the noise tent fell silent. Daina was Gabe’s cobra, the star of the show. She was brightly colored, and always ready to slither out of her cage and do whatever Gabe said, so long as he fed her after. Her hood was always opened, and she always looked ready to strike.

“I can’t find Diana,” Gabe repeated, gasping for breathe. He must have ran all the way from the animal trailer, “The cage lid was open. I haven’t fed her.”

Pete stared at him, “What do you mean you haven’t fed her?” he said, voice slowly growing in volume and tone going from stressed to angry.

“There wasn’t time,” Gabe said, “She went with the rest of the animals, we got here and we had to get ready! I thought the cage was locked!” The tent stayed silent, the only noise was people breathing and the racket from outside. Pete pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Perfect. Fucking perfect, just what we needed.” he sighed, “We can’t do anything now. We have to open in- Patrick, how long until we have to open?”

“Twenty minutes.” Patrick said, dutifully, but clearly upset by the news too.

“Thank you. We have to open in twenty minutes, and now there’s a fucking venomous snake on the loose? Fucking great what’s next?” Speak of the devil and he shall come. Brendon burst into the tent.

“Bill is puking his guts out. I put him inside his tent, but he can barely stand. I don’t think he can perform.” Pete just stared at him.

“Okay, we have a hungry snake slithering around, and a contortionist who can’t even do a backbend at this point, and twenty minutes until we have to let people in.” Pete said, summing up everything said in the last five minutes. His voice was even, and voided of emotion, the way it was when he was trying not to snap at people. The air in tent shifted, everyone thinking about how to make the circus work instead of how to make themselves presentable.

            “I can do something with Tammy again,” Gabe offered, “If I do that then the show will be shorter, I can look for Diana.”

            “But what about after?” Ryan asked, “We can’t just have one show.”

            “I _know_ that, Ryan.” Gabe snapped.

            “Well don’t get mad at me because you fucked up,” Ryan said, sneering. It was almost frightening how such a pretty face could be moved to hold such anger.

            “Shut up,” Patrick said, the small murmurs of the tent fell silent once again. “Don’t fight, we have to think of something, or we won’t be able to open.”

            They hadn’t missed an opening day, not ever, not when all Pete had was one car and a handful of freaks, not even when Ashlee announced she was pregnant with some random guys kid and had to leave Pretty Odd, even the one time that William and Gabe had an awful fight, one that had screaming and insulting and, at one point, hitting, they wouldn’t even look at each other, everyone thought it would be the end of both of them, until they made up and slowly got their relationship back on track. Wentz’s World Travelling Circus had never missed an opening day, not in America, or Canada, or the short amount of time they were in England, or Russia, or South America. They hadn’t missed a day, ever, and they weren’t planning too.

            “If Brendon can direct attention to open tents, and Gabe does a few shows with Tammy, maybe we can get someone to try and find Daina.” Pete said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself of the plan.

            “I can’t do too many shows with her,” Gabe said, voice smaller than anyone had ever heard it before, “She hasn’t eaten a lot either. Ricardo has been sick for a few days, and the other snakes are too calm for shows.”

            Pete sighed, and growled, “Gabe, no offense, but you’re _fucking useless right_ now.” He made a small whimpering sound, but besides that he made no show that it affected him.

            “Twelve minutes!” they heard Spencer yell from outside.

            “Fuck,” Pete whispered, “Okay, Gabe, find Diana, check up on William, you’re not doing a show tonight.” Everyone’s eyes widened.

            “What?” Gabe asked, “but, but what are we going to do instead?”

            “Just do it.” Pete said, tone leaving no room for argument. Gabe stared for a moment, then nodded, before leaving the tent in search for his snake. For a second, the other occupants in the tents just stared as Pete’s shoulders rose and fell, trying to calm himself.

            “Okay, alright,” he muttered to himself, “Brendon, get all the extra food and toys, I want you to try and get as many people as you can to look at them. Fuck, I don’t care, get annoyingly pushy.”

            “I can do that.” Brendon said, pushing aside the tent flaps and walking out.

            “Hayley, tie some more scarfs to the Pretty Odd sign, Victoria, spray some more perfume. Ryan, go and tell the rest of the girls to try and capture the audience even more. Act like you’re desperate whores that need attention.”

            “Alright.”, “Sure.”, “Already were, but I’ll pass the message on.” were the replies.

            “Butcher, I want the show to be as extreme as possible, I mean borderline puke worthy.” Pete said, going on the directions. Butcher sighed, his injuries from the last borderline puke worthy show were a bitch to tend too, but he nodded.

            “Patrick,” Pete said, looking at him. His voice went from strict, to a slightly kinder, more polite tone, “Please tell Spencer and Jon to tell everyone to step their game up.” Patrick nodded, and started heading out, before Pete added, “And make sure that Travis _does not_ set his hair on fire, or puts too much vodka in his water. The last thing we need today is a firebreather that’s drunk. _Again._ ”

            “Okay,” Patrick said, sighing, before walking out hurriedly, to find the others to pass the directions to. The tension was still heavy in the air, no one moving, and barely breathing.

            “Well, get going! We have five minutes!” Pete said, loudly, snapping everyone out of their fearful trance. Everyone started moving immediately, either going back to what they were doing before, or running out of the tent, going to do whatever they were ordered too. Pete sighed, pushing past everyone and walking out of the tent. Sometimes he fucking hated his own circus.

-x-x-

            Gabe slipped inside William’s tent, squinting through the darkness. The lamps weren’t turned on, the only light coming from the few places where sunlight slipped in through the gaps between panels of fabric. The platform was set up, but nothing was on it, making it look emptier and more worn down than Gabe had ever seen. He quickly walked to the back of the tent, pushing the curtain aside he had to blink at the sudden brightness. Clearly Brendon had made sure William was okay. He was curled up on a yoga mat, the hoodie he was wearing early draped over him as a makeshift blanket, his head was propped up on a pillow made of clothes from William’s overnight bag. His brown hair looked stringy and sweaty despite being washed recently, and his face was oily, twisted in distress.

            “What the fuck happened?” Gabe asked, kneeling down next to him. William groaned, and made a half hearted shrug.

            “I’m going to die.” He moaned out, eyes flickering open. “I feel like shit.”

            “You look like shit.”

            “Fuck you, you’re supposed to be nice to me. It’s, like, in the boyfriend handbook.” he said, before wincing. William reached out from under the hoodie, and made a vague gesture to a bucket sitting a few feet away. Gabe passed it over, and William immediately vomited in it.

            “This must be extremely unsexy.” Bill said, hoarsely. He coughed, then puked again. “Fuck, how am I supposed to do anything?”

            “Actually that’s what I’m here for,” Gabe said, remember why he was their, “You’re not performing, neither am I. Don’t make that face at me- I’m supposed to look after you, and find, uh, something.” he carefully left out the fact that his most aggressive snake escaped, due to the fact that Diana freaked William out to no end. While he was fine with Betsy curling around him, Diana’s bright colors and tendency to hiss at him was unnerving. However in his sickly state, William just nodded before gagging and puking again.

            “Fuck, don’t you have any medicine or something?” Gabe asked, scrunching his nose as the disgusting smell. Bill meekly nodded, and pointed over to his bag, that was propped against a crate. After digging around in it, Gabe found a bottle of sleeping pills and advil. Weighing the pros and cons, he decided that giving William both would probably be okay. Despite his lanky figure, he was mostly muscle, and he had a high tolerance. Shaking a few of both into his hand, he crawled back over to William, bringing a water bottle with him. Handing them over to him, Gabe said, “Keep ‘em down, you’re running low.”

            William rolled his eyes, but put the pills in his mouth one by one, then took a swing of water. He gulped, and made a face, before taking another sip of water. He gagged once or twice, but slapped his hand over his mouth and keep his sickness at bay.

            “Okay, now, I have to go, but like, rest?” Gabe wasn’t that good at taking care of people. Thankfully, Bill didn’t comment, just nodded, and laid back down, curling in on himself, eyes fluttering shut. Gabe leaned down, and pressed a light kiss to his forehead. For a second he considered saying ‘I love you.’ but he didn’t think they were at that point yet. It was true, but he didn’t think that either of them were ready to admit it yet.

            Gabe stood up, and walked briskly out of the tent, not all that surprised when he noticed that there were guests milling around. Reminding himself that he needed to find Diana before she hurt, or even scared, something, he set off jogging in the direction of the animal trailer.

 

-x-x-

            Frank was sweating, but kept the smile on his face. The tent wasn’t meant for this many people, it was muggy and hot, he was grateful that his outfit was just jeans and a vest. He felt sorry for other tents that had a strict dress code, if they were all as full as his.

            Finishing his count-down, slightly longer than usual, Frank opened the coffin, careful not to prick himself on any of the big metal spikes that covered the inside. Gerard walked out, not a scratch on his body, smiling wide and plastic, throwing his arms out to show off his unharmed body. They both bowed politely as the crowd erupted with applause.

            “Thank you! Thank you,” Frank said, looking at Gerard. They didn’t have many more acts until they had to sent people out, and Pete told them to try and keep people occupied for as long as possible. This town was bigger than the last, but it was one of those boring towns, the type that people just got stuck in, where nothing happened. They welcomed the circus with open arms every time they visited, and Gerard always told Frank that he was pretty sure when they passed through it was the most excitement the town members got all year.

            “And now,” Gerard said, catching everyone's attention again, “Frank will throw knives at me!” Frank pulled huge, sharp knives out of a small bag, ignoring peoples gasps.

            “But that would be too easy,” Frank said easily. They didn’t necessarily have a scripted but what they said with fake vigor in every city didn’t differentiate that much.

            “You’re very right, Frank, so what will we do?”

            “We’ll blind fold me, of course.” He said. Gerard nodded and pulled a long, shimmery scarf out of his pocket, striding over to him and tying it tightly around his head. He walked backwards towards the wooden board that they used as a wall for knife throwing acts.

            Frank raised his arm, and took aim as best as he could. It was going to be a long day, he thought, as he threw the knife forward.

 

-x-x-

            He was pretty sure his makeup was melting, he got a glimpse a teenage girls makeup as she made her way through the displays, it was smeared and running, so his couldn’t be much better. The thought made Ryan flap his fan harder, pushing warm air into his face, but it would have to do. He should talk to Pete about talking Patrick into budgeting for a few fans to put here and there. Filing it with _Things I should probably remember_ he decided to wait for another, less stressful day. The small walkway was packed with people, they had to push others out of their way just to move a few feet forward. Ryan supposed that was a good thing, that there was so many people there, instead of elsewhere, or leaving the carnival. But the heat and the noise was getting to Ryan, and from a certain angle he could see Lynz’s face if she moved just right, and judging from the way she looked and eyed people, it was getting to her too. Since she never showed much emotion besides enthusiasm - she was like a puppy, the was she was always _happyhappyhappyhappyhappyPEOPLE!smilesmilesmilesmilehappyhappyhappy!_ seriously, it was like a superpower- Ryan could assume that it was getting to everyone else too. When people left the tent a short blast of cool air could creep in, and he could see Brendon for a short second, with his cart, sometimes strumming a ukulele, trying to sell things to people, handing drinks and snacks to customers. Ryan didn’t even know that the circus had a ukulele, but that just goes to show that you learn something new everyday.

            Giving a small sigh, blowing some hair out of his face, Ryan looked back towards the people crowding around his small stage. Leaning back, shifting to get in a comfier positioning, he continued fanning himself. He let a small grin slip out, as he was reminder of a song he learned when he was a kid. _A ship sailed from China, with a cargo of tea. All laden with gifts, for you and for me. They brought me a fan, just imagine my bliss. As I fan myself daily, like this. Like this. Like this._ If only the circus could make it through this day, much less all the way to China.

-x-x-

            Gabe really could cry right now. He had searched _everywhere_! Like, everywhere everywhere. He had checked from the animal trailer, to the storage tent, to the magic show, to Travie’s firebreathing area, to the freakshow tent, to the Pretty Odd tent, he even swung by Pete’s tent again and had to face his wrath when he found out Gabe hadn’t found Diana yet. He had checked everywhere, every nook and cranny, even set up some traps with food in case she visited the places he checked already.

            Gabe stopped running, only for a moment, to take a breath. The crowd moved around him, brushing against his body and shoving him in random directions. He saw a little boy cough violently, his mother cooing at him and bouncing him in her arms, trying to soothe him. Gabe remembered that he was supposed to check on William, make sure he didn’t choke on his own vomit or whatever. Sighing again, Gabe started pushing his way through the warm bodies, going through where Diana could be in his mind. The sudden realization that she may be lost for good dawned on him as he reached Bill’s tent, making him stop for a moment. Even though she was moody, and aggressive, and basically not the best pet in the world, he did like having her around for shows. While Betsy was great as a companion type of pet, she wasn’t excitable, and the other snakes weren’t trained yet, or he had them around just so he could wreak havoc in cities that had done someone wrong. (The amount of snakes that he had released in Vegas was really a staggering amount.)

            Putting his feelings aside, Gabe walked into the dark tent, and went to find William. Peeking into the back room, he saw Bill snoozing on the floor where Gabe left him. He almost walked away when he saw the sight, but then despite the noise coming through the tent fabric, he heard a faint noise. He heard hissing.

            Gabe walked inside the room cautiously, looking around. Movement in the far corner caught Gabe’s eye, and he crouched down, peering across the room. Diana slithered out from between two crates, tongue flickering out. Her hood was open, and her head bobbed side to side as she moved forward. Gabe’s eyes narrowed as he watched her move.

            “Diana, hey, Diana,” he whispered. He didn’t want to frighten her, or wake up William. Diana’s head snapped over towards him, and she hissed loudly. “Okay, yeah, I probably deserve that.”

            She stared at him, then started moving again. Gabe copied her, moving closer to her and she moved closer to whatever her target was. On most occasions Gabe would allow her to explore, just keep a close eye on her, but William was asleep and sick, and he didn’t know what Diana would do.

            Her head jerked back when Gabe made a sudden movement. He made a shushing noise, and said, “Hey, girl, hey, it’s okay. Just be calm, okay, Diana? Calm.”

            She eyed Gabe, before slithering to the side. “No, no, no. None of that, you fucking-” Diana hissed, Gabe blinked. “Okay, you’re right, that was uncalled for. But no moving.”

            For a moment, Gabe almost thought that Diana was listening to him, until she surged forward, fangs out. However, after years of catching animals, and avoiding getting bit (in his younger years, failing at this) he had developed rather good reflexes. He stepped back before Diana could touch him.

            “No, bad snake-demon! Bad snake!” Diana was still slithering around, seeming very interested in William’s hair. “No, you are not eating Bill today.” Gabe said, trying to spot her next move. She hissed again, and started moving forward, her head going up and back, and hood expanding more. Gabe knew that she was going to try and strike, and before she had time to surge forward again, he grabbed her tail. Her head whipped around, and she seethed, fangs bared. Quickly, Gabe started moving his hand from her tail closer to her head, to hold her mouth close. She wriggled angrily, trying to get out of Gabe’s grip, and twisted her body around his arm. By some miracle, he managed to get a grip by her head, holding her hood close to her body, and her mouth shut, fangs tucked safely inside.

            Gabe let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding, and began to laugh, almost hysterically. He was almost at the point of tears, when he saw William’s body shift. He sat up, blinking tiredly, and said, “What’s so funny?”

            Gabe was still giggling, even when William’s eyes widened and he puked again.

-x-x-

            After a stressful day, the last thing everyone wanted to do was pack up, but it had to be done. People’s bodies were sluggish and tired, but they managed. Slowly, they boxed everything up, talking about their day. Pete was still stressed, but as the day seemed farther and farther away, he began to loosen up, and laughed when Brendon announced he made about twice the amount of money he usually did. He laughed, and let a few of them go with Patrick to the grocery store and got an actual dinner that wasn’t out of waxy paper. Everyone laughed, and Bill even managed to stomach some food that Gabe fed him. Diana was put back in her cage, which Pete checked, then double checked was locked.

            The day was rough, and they were tired and sweat covered, but everyone was smiling. Looking at everyone laughing, Pete couldn’t help but think that this was what the circus was about. Smiling, laughing, being happy despite all the bad thing that’ve happened. Soon, everything was packed up and in the cars, and everyone crawled into their places - an unconscious William was carried and held in Gabe’s lap.

            The cars doors slammed and locked, and in a line they drove away. Tomorrow they would be in a new city, it would be a new day. They could be different people if they wanted to, have different names, with different lives. But they wouldn’t, they would stay as they were, be themselves, because that was the circus. And the show must go on.

**Author's Note:**

> shout out to Chantal who edited this, even though it's long and dumb.  
> Admittedly, I'm a bit too obsessed with the circus for my own good  
> i told u i would fix the spacing


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